SBC Voices posted this "relevant" article that addresses every leader in the local church. I've extracted two of the models [family commitment vs laissez faire]relating to family involvement in the life of the local church.
For 38 years I have personally advocated "the family commitment model" for ministry team members,elders,deacons and leaders. This mean't having to exhort,reprove and and even rebuke at times those who drifted toward the laissez-faire model.
Even worse,in recent years, I had the most unfortunate experience of serving with a "Pastor" and some of his "elders" who actually dumbed down the commitment level for their own family while publicly advocating a higher standard for all the other families in the church. Obviously, we had some serious "face time" over such flagrant hypocrisy.
[rgh]
"When the only one of a family who shows up on Sunday receives a check for it, the people in the pews wonder why they bothered to show up and get told about how much more involved they need to be each week."
>The Family Commitment Model: The pastor’s family is committed as members to the church. They attend with the same involvement that would be considered “faithful” for a regular member (aka not gone for soccer 6 months of the year), and are allowed to find their own ministry niche. The church is taught not to freak out if the kids aren’t at the 6 am senior adult prayer breakfast. The wife is free to use her gifts and talents within... the church as she deems appropriate.
Positive: Church commitment and involvement is kept serious for the family. Within that commitment, there is freedom for individual family members to find their place. Pastor’s family can set model for how other busy non-paid church members can reasonably be involved....
>The Laissez-faire Model: For those who slept during economics class, laissez-faire basically means “hands-off.” In this model the pastor adopts a “hands-off” model towards his family’s church involvement. If they want to go, he’ll give them a ride, but he’s not twisting arms or waking people up on a Sunday morning. If they come, they won’t be asked to do much more than fill a pew. Forget ministry involvement; if they want his wife to be involved, they should pay her! And of course, if Junior joins one of those traveling carnivals known as “tournament teams”, then the wife and kids can disappear for 6 months and no one will care as much. If the family is tired on Sunday night, then dad will show up and preach, but it’s Home Makeover time for everyone else.
Positive: Kids can never complain about being forced to go to church. If they are involved it is a credit to their personal interest and effort. Negative: Kids can never complain about being forced to go to church. Tell me which 5 year-old will set their alarm and get themselves ready for church each week, especially if they find out Spongebob is on tv. Some forced activity is healthy for children. And usually this “non-committal” kind of model winds up leading kids to other commitments in place of church, often still not at their own choosing. The pastor’s family may not hate him for taking them to church each week, but they might resent him for sending them to softball games all weekend in 100-degree heat. Dad and family may end up living two totally separate lives. It also sends the message to other church members that if one isn’t paid to be at church, then showing up isn’t important. When the only one of a family who shows up on Sunday receives a check for it, the people in the pews wonder why they bothered to show up and get told about how much more involved they need to be each week.
http://sbcvoices.com/the-pastors-family-and-church-involvement
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