7 Things About Joyous Pastors' Wives

Thom Rainer : 7 Things Learned From Joyous Pastors' Wives...

1. They focused on their identity in Christ. They are not first pastors’ wives. Nor do they find their primary identity in their local congregations. They are daughters of God, loved by Christ, and led by His Spirit. They know they are loved and accepted unconditionally by Him.
2. They know they have their husbands’ support and priority. Many of the pastors’ wives who are struggling are intensely lonely. And one of the key reasons for that loneliness is their sense that they are not the priorities of their husbands.
3. They are honest and transparent with their husbands. Because they know they have their husbands’ support, they are open and transparent communicators with them. They do not typically hold feelings inside of themselves.
4. They understand and accept that criticisms and unreasonable expectations are a part of church life and leadership. So when they or their husbands are criticized, or when expectations are unreasonable, they know that is an unfortunate price of church leadership. It does not eliminate the pain; but it does help them to deal with it in a more healthy fashion.
5. They are intentional about making friends outside the church. Most of the pastors’ wives admit they have difficulty making friends of church members. So they intentionally seek other female friends outside the church. This one act was mentioned several times as the key way they have mitigated loneliness.
6. They don’t let others dictate their roles inside or outside the church.They feel the freedom to “be themselves,” and not to be shaped into unreasonable images by church members.
7. They pray regularly for their churches and church members. Prayer is pervasively powerful. And our prayers for others shape our attitudes toward them. Such was the reason many of them were so positive about fellow church members.

Three Views of Sermon Length

Are church members and church leaders saying sermons should be longer or shorter? The answer is “yes.”

1. 41%: Sermons should be shorter, in the 20-30 minute range. These respondents see a cultural barrier related to short attention spans. Any sermon over 30 minutes, they say, does not connect with the typical mind of today, especially in Western culture. We, therefore, must keep the message shorter and pack more information into a relatively brief time period.

 2. 37%: Sermons should be longer, in the 35 to 55 minute range. A solid exposition of    Scripture, this perspective argues, cannot be done in just a few minutes. The sermon is the central part of the worship service, and the time allocated should be significant. We do a disservice to the Word of God when we move toward shorter sermons.

3. 9%: There should be no time constraints on the pastor’s sermons. The pastor should have a sermon length that is only subject to the leading of the Holy Spirit. Anything else lacks sensitivity to God’s work and involvement.

True vs False Grace

Believers over the years have been  faced with a chronic problem called "legalism". In this brief interview, Dr. Michael Brown documents how the pendulum has now swung in the opposite direction as the church is now being assault by men perverting the orthodox view of  biblical grace teaching.

This heretical wind of deception is called "hyper grace" and is leavening the church with flagrant antinomianism. The beauty of grace based sanctification is now mocked with accusations of being works righteousness, legalism, or sin absorption.

Click on the link below and give a listen to Dr. Brown as he articulates the problem and the solution.

dr-michael-brown True and False Grace

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Eight of the Most Significant Struggles

Thom Rainer put together this list of  "Eight of the Most Significant Struggles" ministers face. Rainer makes the point that while most enjoy their calling, they would gladly receive help from church members, a word of encouragement from most anyone, and the knowledge that others are praying for them. I agree whole heartily!

1. Criticism and conflict. I do have a few observations about this number one issue. First, it seems to be growing, and pastors seem to be experiencing greater challenges. Second, most of the issues of conflict are not doctrinal issues. Indeed, most are trivial issues. Finally, very few pastors are equipped and trained to deal with the steady stream of critics and crises.
2. Family problems. Many pastors struggle with expectations by church members of their spouses or children. Others struggle with finding time for their families. Many pastors’ families struggle with the “glass house” syndrome.
3. Stress. The pastor’s life is one of emotional highs and lows. It includes critics and adoring fans. Expectations from church members can be unreasonable. The very nature of a pastor’s call into ministry can lend itself to seemingly unending stress.
4. Depression. Every time I write about this topic, I hear from countless pastors and staff. Depression is pervasive in pastoral ministry. And it is often the “secret” problem.
5. Burnout. Local church ministry can attract two broad types of persons: the lazy and the workaholic. Accountability is often low, and it can be easy to get away with little work, or to work 70 plus hours a week. I see more of the latter than the former.
6. Sexual problems. These problems are most often in one of two categories: pornography or marital unfaithfulness.
7. Financial problems. Most of the world hears about the few pastors who make huge salaries. The reality is that the majority of pastors struggle financially.
8. Time management. Expectations of pastors can be unrealistic. Pastors are often expected to attend multiple meetings, to visit countless congregants, to prepare sermons with excellence, to provide ongoing strategic leadership, to conduct weddings and funerals, and to be involved in the community. Many pastors don’t know how or when to say “no.” And many are not good at delegating, or they really don’t have anyone who can handle some of their responsibilities.