My definition of a “friend” has certainly been revised over the years after being kissed by Judas, undermined by Jacob, foraken by Demas, defected from by John Mark and disappointed by unprincipled Barnabas.
However, I have now discovered a better term for pseudo "friendships" which were never really authentic.
"Frenemy or Frienemy": the term is increasingly being used to describe someone who may have been a friend but has now become an enemy or is a person who disquised himself as a true friend but in reality was a personal enemy. These uncharactered types are very common in ministry circles and local church congregations. They can even appear within the family.
The first known use was in "77 but gained popularity in 2000 and was entered into Websters new words in 2009.
" fren·e·my Pronunciation: \ˈfre-nə-mē\ :plural fren·e·mies Etymology:
blend of friend and enemy: one who pretends to be a friend but is actually
an enemy"
What are the prominent traits of a true "frenemy"that I have experienced:
>a frenemy is utilitarian at heart-desiring to relate as long as it is beneficial to them
> gives backhanded compliments that undermine while giving others the
opportunity to mock and ridicule, but makes themelves look or feel good.
>a frenemy may put up a facade but has no concern for your honor,reputation or influence
>they may have stayed with you through difficult times but are actually antagonistic behind your back
>when offended, angry or disappointed, a frenemy will insult, attack, or defame your character to others
>he/she will speak disapprovingly of your true friends because they remain loyal, faithful, and covenantal in the face of your "common to man" flaws, frailties and imperfections
>;as empty chested cowards, they have a temperamental aversion to conflict and truth speaking, so they ignore biblical mandates to confront redemptively[ Matthew 18], choosing rather to backbite in order to solicit comfort from other uncharactered types.
>when caught in their sinful compromise, they point out technical fouls to divert attention from their own wrong doings
Who are your Frenemies?
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