Here is a great question that was posed to Probe Ministries. Many of you brothers will remember when a lady at Redeemed Community appealed to this text for grounds to abandon and then divorce her husband. Significant to note is that some minister friends thought we were to hard when we enacted discipline for unbiblical cause.
The answer that Probe gives is the same position we took in the marital conflict and the very reason we took disciplinary action.
[RGH]
Question:
"In Matthew 5:27ff. Jesus says that if a man lusts after a woman he has already committed adultery in his heart. Then, in v. 32 Jesus indicates that sexual immorality is the only justification for divorce. Is, then, lust justification for divorce? If so, what degree of lust is justification for divorce? Or, if it is not Jesus' intention to allow divorce for lust, please substantiate this position." Thanks.
Probe Answer:
"The bottom line answer to your question is no, lust is not grounds for divorce.
If you look at the context of the Lord Jesus' remarks about lust in Matthew 5, what you see is that He is "pulling back the rug," so to speak, on outward sins to expose the underlying problem, which is sin in the heart. Murder doesn't start with murder; it starts with sinful anger in the heart (vv. 21-22)...
The main point to all of these illustrations in the Sermon on the Mount is that a sinful heart lurks behind every offensive action. By shining the light of His perfection on our dark hearts, the Lord very effectively makes us aware of how short we fall of God's standard of righteousness. That's why we need to receive Christ's righteousness, since we have none of our own.
So the point about lust is made to expose the sinful motives of the heart, showing that even before one actually enters into an adulterous relationship, there's a heart problem that's just as serious in God's eyes as acting on it."
http://www.probe.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=fdKEIMNsEoG&b=4485965&ct=5513351¬oc=1
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